Dear Mister Tin Man

Dear Mister Tin Man,

I want to have a talk with you. I hear you’re looking for a heart, eh? Before you do, first, I have some advice. Never wish for a heart. I would gladly trade mine in for your armor of steel in a minute. Hearts are only made to be broken, steel can withstand anything. Why would you want to give up something so strong for something so fragile? 

You talk about feeling, you talk about love. But, let me tell you, it’s not worth the pain. The damage a heart goes through only leaves it beaten, broken, bruised, and sometimes, shattered into a million pieces. Your armor protects you from all of that mess. 

You hear, and you see everyone around you talk about love. You wish you were able to love. You feel empty without a heart. I get it. But, I hate to tell you, please, don’t wish to change. The pain of loving, is greater than the joy of loving. You see, people leave. People that you’ve known and loved and given your heart and soul to, leave. Sometimes, they pass away, sometimes they just walk out of your life in a flash, and sometimes, you fight brutal fights that leave your once precious heart unrepairable. 

In any of those cases, your heart that you wanted so badly, has nothing but voids in it. Nothing but holes. Nothing but the stinging pain that you’ll eventually learn to numb somehow. A broken heart is the greatest pain that life offers. If you’re lucky, you’ll walk away from a heartbreak with only some battle wounds and scars. With armor, nothing can cut through you.

You see, when you have a heart, you’re vulnerable. You’re at risk of being hurt, of being torn in two. You’re at risk of being judged, of being taken advantage of, of having that safe, comfortable, protective armor completely destroyed. It’s not worth it. 

You could wish for a heart, and then you could spend your whole life loving someone with the entirety of that heart for all of the right reasons, and then in a moment, they could choose to walk away. What do you do now? Especially when you don’t understand the reasons why? You hurt. You grieve. You cry. You move on. But, my God, why would you ever want to put yourself through that process? It is the hardest thing to go through. 

Take it from me, tears are the worst. Crying is the worst. I’ve shed many tears over those I’ve loved with every ounce of love in me. You can call me an expert in this field. I’ve loved people who, all of a sudden, are taken away from me. I’ve loved friends, who I lost forever due to fights, misunderstandings, and disagreements. I’ve loved people who I considered to be mentors, who I poured a lot of kindness and respect to, only to have them want nothing to do with me in return. I’ve loved family members, only to have them leave in the end. I’ve loved people, only to be put down, let down, lied to, disrespected by, insulted by, judged by, and devalued by them. 

Hearts may sound glamorous, but please, do yourself a favor and don’t buy into the hype. When you begin to use your heart, you’ll feel the high. You’ll feel the shine. You’ll feel like you’re on cloud nine. Be prepared. It’s a very hard fall from the top. Soon, you’ll feel the sting, the hurt. Until, inevitably, you’re haunted by the memories from every thing that your heart went through. 

If, after reading this, you still decide you want a heart, I offer you mine. Warning: it’s bruised. It has been bandaged, taped up, and stitched back together more times than I could ever count. It’s not perfect. It still bleeds. In return however; I want to try your armor on. I see how shiny it is, how strong, how noble it looks. I see how pain-free it is. So please, take this big heart of mine. 

I hope you don’t experience the pain that I have. That I am. Maybe you’re stronger than me. I’ll leave you with this one last thing, love is truly, so damn hard. 

Sincerely,

Me. 

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